gender and sexuality

now ive been on the internet for at least 6 years, so ive been thru a lot on here and have seen a lot and have explored many identidies especially since i was a highly masking autistic idevidual who was looking for himself and what people would accept most since i was alway labelled as "the weird kid" and just wanted to be accepted.
ive been thru almost every gender ever, ive thought i was a trans girl, any of the demi-genders, non-binary, just a whole mess since the masking made me strip away all of my self identedy till i didnt even know who i was anymore, ive tried out many diffrrent pronouns, he/him, he/they, she/they, he/her any neo//xenopronouns under the sun basically. my current identedy has barely shifted in the past 3 years wich makes me pretty happy because all the gender and sexuality questioning was really stressful especially at my young age but it was also really fullfilling!! so thankfully ive figured out my current queer identedy 

> it/he/xe pronouns
> male, demiboy, wolf and digicat-gender
> demi-sexual + romantic
> heteroflexible

:NOTE: i do call myself cisgender even tho i do not strictly identefy with my birth gender

for me the sexuality part was and is extra stressing because i did not want to accept that on rare ocasions i may find a guy atractive and could eventually fall inlove with him, this was in a good guess partically triggered by the fact that i didnt want to be atracted to not only my own gender but also to the gender my groomer was and it brought back many triggering moments, ive thankfully mostly gotten over the sexuality stress and i just go with the flow now and focus less on gender and more on compatibillity instead!! ive also decided that i am most likely only going to date other queer and//or neurodivergent people, specifically i feel like i might not ever be able to date an allistic person again after having a very shortlived but incredebly fullfilling relationship with another autistic person, and most of my relationships with allistic partners sadly not ending well for diffrent reasons-

alterhumanity

ive always felt a little non-human, mixing my childhood problematics, autism and dehumanising experiences i have always and still do expirience it created a hell that slowly flourished into a thriving alterhuman invironment in my brain, especially since i didnt even know what alterhumanity was at first! i thought it was zooanthropy for the longest time or a form of psychosis
then when i joined tumblr at age 12 (-ish?) i followed queer tags and noticed the alterhuman tags for the first time and researched and found a comunity i still concider home i started researching animals and other creatures regularly to try to figure out my kintypes and theriotype, at around 13 i discovered my wolf theriotype and at 14 or so i specifically noted it to be an arctic wolf. me being catkin originally got mistaken as being a cat therian but i am just cat kin, i am also canine or canidae kin but i am still researching diffrent breeds and species, for my otherkin types it took me a bit longer to realise i am vampirekin
for fictionkins it usually comes to me quite quick and i kin radioface (creepypasta) and pyro (TF2) and i am sadly relativly uncomfortable with 'doubles' but i am fine with system alters and i love meeting others from similar fandoms or 'sources' i am very very uneducated on terms with alterhuman stuff tho so im still trying to educate myself on that

"presenting" as alterhuman!

being pretty open about my alterhumanity has made everything easier in general but i dont want to walk around with a shirt saying "YO IM ALTERHUMAN TALK TO ME" so some things i do to present myself as alterhuman is i wear some more noticable gear that is "less acceptable" and some stuff that is "more acceptable"! for example i wear a tail because im in a relativly safe environment were i feel safe enought to wear one, and here and there i even wear a pair of wolf ears! i usually also draw a thetedelta onto my hand, or wear the pants with my thetadelta patch on em, sometimes i try to include fur paterns of kins or theriotypes in my hair, or try to mimick it as best as possible in eye make-up or i try to represent the animals in my day to day clothes!! one of my favorite necklaces is a "tooth" that i stole in denmark, im pretty sure its actually suposed to be like a shark tooth but i represent it as a false wolf tooth, i also have a shirt with my theriotype on it and am constantly looking for more ways to show that i am a therian and alterhuman in general!

alterhuman, queer and laternative friends

i have honestly found my queer and alternative friends were i live, in my home for troubled youth! but were i also found friends is in youth groups, now this might sound cliche but there are some actually good ones, my fav one is in a "bad part of town" and many queer and alternative people go there, now alterhumans usually wont tell you imedeatly if they are or are not alterhumans but if you tell them, or talk about alterhuman related stuff they might open up about it to you :3 some alterhumans dont even know about alterhumanity so if you open up to someone (especially queer people) they themselves might realise that they are infact alterhuman! but enought about that, some more places i found queer and alternative people and alterhumans is

> pride events

> small gigs and shows

> raves

> concerts

> conventions

> protests

and dont be scared to talk to the people there, most people there are really friendly! and i personally have also gotten aproached at pride events, small gigs and protests to ask if im a therian, if i wanted to join their group etc!! i have also accidentally joined groups especially at pride events! i do have to say tho if you find drugs triggering some of these places and people might not be your thing especially since many partys, raves and pride events have drug involvement but you can also find sober people there so no need to worry :)

i apologise if i use the wrong terms as i am honestly not all too educated on them please do correct me on them :)